Penis Envy 2000 HarmOnIce Records. Distributed by RecRec. 20.– CHF / 13.– €. order

It’s ball time, baby! Three years after their first record, they did it again. Oops! Penis Envy by HANG OR DIE, a title that keeps its promises. It’s ‘bout bonking and breaking, ‘bout sex and disaster. – What happens if you “are on” the days you’ve scheduled for sulphurous sex? (Cool to Be a Woman). – How to seduce and debauch little girls? (I Want That Girl). – Could a guy that loves you be possibly normal? (He Loves Me). – Is there a way to become a seawoman and to sing an appropriate shanty? (La Marine, a female version of an old Brassens’ song). Penis Envy goes the blues-rock-way to tell you that a little bit of perversion may be more fun than the complete lack of it (Freddy), it teaches you in a twist how to overcome man’s horror of the vagina (Pussy Talk), it instructs you, in Latin style, of course, how to act while you’re facing premature ejaculation (Ejaculateur précoce). But don’t forget: You still may get pregnant! It isn’t easy, these days, but it is still possible – don’t overreact! (Carpet). In short, Penis Envy is mother’s and daughter’s little helper: A girls’ advice for the underprivileged who needs it and an encyclopaedia for the boys that get horny on car’s engines.. So if you are a teenager or just a common twit and keep believing that there are more important things in life than sex (football or friends, e.g.) you have to have this, for God’s sake, buy it!

01. Cool To Be a Woman Today ay, ay, ay, today, I' ve got my period. I' ve got blisters on my face and I' m dressed like an idiot. Pre-menstrual tension and menstrual depression, The dog next door shows me all his passion. I' ve got cramps, cramps, cramps, and my head is aching. My belly is bloated, it' s so frustrating. My hormones are going to pump me up, thank you mother nature for all that crap. I' m on. Why, tell me why, am I not on Valium? In America they sell it to any stupid bum. Herbs and teas, instead of a kick. So there I sit – sick. I' m on. It' s so cool to be a woman, Or even a girl. Yeah, okay – but you know, that' s nothing, compared to what happened to Blame some weeks ago. She' d just paid the hotel room for the whole weekend To get a stand with a friend of friend. He put his head where he knew he should. Oh fuck, it ain' t his nose, it' s her own blood. He runs to the loo and stares into the mirror. Oh he' s so hungry he has to go for dinner And bye, bye, bye, takes his coat and bag, So there she sits trying to fix a jam rag. I' m on. It' s so cool to be a woman, Or even a girl. DOWNLOAD MP3 02. I Want That Girl I saw her standing in that bar, She looked the way that looks a star. I thought oh my mighty she looks terrific, and the rest of this story I' ll gonna sing. - Gonna help me sisters! And I tried to to kiss her on the spot, But she had to be back home. So I flung my arms 'round her neck, But she had to be back home. I touched her tits, she doesn' t wear no bra, But she had to be back home. And Jesus Christ, her nipples were stiff, But she had to be back home. Girls, I love, I love girls, Yes, I love them. White, black, blue or green, I love them even unseen, I love them poor and I love them rich, she might be a saint or she might be a bitch. I love ladies, babies, hairy legs, I love to smell, to smell their sex, I love to watch them while they faint, She might be a bitch or she might be a saint. Tomorrow night I' ll take her to my place, So she cannot go back home. And there I' ll pour her a vodka and a gin, So she cannot go back home. Then I undress that little sweet thing, So she cannot go back home. She will protest but I' ll drive her crazy, So she only wants to stay. On her knees she' ll beg me not to stop, Cause she only wants to stay. Donna please, please don' t do that! – Why baby? Just relax – Your hands are magic, magic … See, you have only to give it a try. – And when you rub your clit against mine, I get that feeling, I' m feeling high, It seems as if you knew my body ... As if it was your body body ... Slow, real slow, real, real slow. Girls, we love girls, yes, we love them. White, black, blue or green, We love them even unseen, We love them poor and we love them rich, She might be a saint or she might be a bitch. We love ladies, babies, hairy legs, We love to smell, to smell their sex, We love to watch them while they faint, She might be a bitch or she might be a saint. Girls, we love girls, we love them. White, black, blue or green, We love them even unseen, We love big breasts, big asses, Small hips and large lips, We love flat girls, fat girls Smart girls, sport girls, We love them dry, we love them wet, We love to take what we get, Their sweat, hair, nails and skin, Their smelly fingers, large or thin, A tiny teeny or heavy butch, She might be a saint or might be a bitch. DOWNLOAD MP3 03. He Loves Me He says he loves me and he does that all the time And I think that could be nice, that could be fine, But to love me doesn' t seem such a good idea, Cause the world' s full of girls more interesting than me. He loves me, yeah, he does. He loves me, of course he does. He loves me, so he says. This guy must be insane. He says he loves me and he does that all the time, he tries to please me, to tease me, he' s such a perfect slime. How could he love me, I' m so stupid, fat and ugly? Perhaps I' m his first one or the guy is queer. He says he loves me and he does that all the time. He' s a perfect boring fart and I' m his only tart. I' m sure he' ll never find another girl, at least not one for free. He loves me, yeah, he does. He loves me, off course he does. He loves me, so he says. This guy must be insane. Cause what do you think of a guy Whose girlfriend is such a stupid cow? I' m not depressed I' m just sincere, Cause I know myself quite well, yes my dear. My make-up was rotten and you said it looked wonderful And the blisters on my back and bottom – Were just lovely, cause they belonged to me And my work is always excellent, even if I fail. You make me sick, yes you do He says he loves and he does that all the time, Cause he' s so happy that he' s not alone. If I hadn' t picked him up, He probably would live with his mother. He loves me, yeah, he does. He loves me, off course he does. He loves me, so he says. This guy must be insane. DOWNLOAD MP3 05. Freddy Freddy ' s got two sides. The one is dark, The other' s black. He' s a polypervert. And if he had a friend, he wouldn' t understand, Cause hate is a feeling Much difficult to share. His mother smoked while she was pregnant And Fred was in there feeling sort of stuck. The whole night he dreams A mature girl that screams, He chops of the balls Of his plastic dolls. Dreams of a knife He pushed into a belly, Blood, sweat and tears On scum and jelly. His mother screamed when she got fucked And Fred behind the door felt that sort of stuck. He' s evil and he loves the pain. Evil, and you can' t explain Why I love him so. But I care for Freddy, Cause brutal arrogance Most often hides A feeling of romance. Real pain ' s where I am, I wanna be his nurse, Cause I' m the only one Who understands. His mother laughed while she was swaddling, And Fred in front of her felt that sort of stuck. So when he was born, Mother didn' t breed And his father' s dick Was much to big. His mother loved his brother And had a funky lover. Just for Fred no one ever Ever bothered. He' s evil and he loves the pain. Evil, and you can' t explain Why I love him too. DOWNLOAD MP3 07. La Marine (Musique de Georges Brassens; texte d' après Paul Fort) On les r' trouve en raccourci dans nos p' tites amours d' un jour, toutes les joies, tous les soucis des amours qui durent toujours! C' est là l' sort de la marine et de tous nos p' tits chéris, on accoste, on fait semblant puis on drague nos petits galants. On s' est fait un peu de tout, des connards et des bons coups on y r' trouve, en raccourci, des grands amours dans nos p' tits. On a bu, on a baisé, on a ri pour s' arrêter, des fois trop tard des fois trop tôt, des fois tout simplement de trop. Tout c' qu' on fait dans un seul jour! et comme on allonge le temps! plus d' trois fois et d' un seul tour, contente, pas contente pourtant. Y a dans la chambre une odeur d' amour tendre et de bourbon, ça vous met la joie au cœur, la peine aussi, et c' est bon. On n' est pas là pour causer ... mais on pense, même dans l' amour. on pense que d' main il fera jour, et qu' c' est une calamité. C' est là l' sort de la marine, et de tous nos petits chéris on accoste, mais on devine ça n' sera pas le paradis. On aura beau s' dépêcher, en faisant la pige au temps, et l' mouiller de tous nos péchés. ça n' sera pas ça: et pourtant, Toutes les joies tous les soucis des amours qui durent toujours, on les r' trouve en raccourci dans nos p' tites amours d' un jour. DOWNLOAD MP3 10. Pussy Talk You fucked me twice. The first time wasn' t nice, The second time you missed the spot, You came again, I did not. My right hand is my best friend. You bought me tons of flowers, Smiled and talked and stared for hours, It took you weeks to get it in, But half a minute to shoot your thing. Look baby, it' s not my fault. You' re just cooler than I thought. My former loves began to drip, Before I even rolled my hips. My right hand is my best friend. Yeah, you listed sixty-seven Girls you' ve already sent to heaven. I wonder how, with your technique, You managed to get them to the peak. My right hand is my best friend. So get your fucking brain Out of your balls, Get that fucking brain Out of your balls And let' s talk about - my pussy! Do you want me to caress, Scratch your back and kiss your neck. Tell me where you want my hand, Here or there or somewhere else. Oh, that would be so nice, That would be so sweet. You silly little moron, On your knees – come on suck! Are you crazy? Just forget it, I' m not going to suck your clit. Perhaps that lesbians like to lick For normal girls, we' ve got a prick. How come that even a cuckoo-clock Is more erotic than your cock? It goes in and out and I suspect That just mechanics get it erect. My right hand is my best friend. Frustration, cramps, frigidity Get yourself a dog, don' t bother me. So jerk off, you stupid slime, There' s no time for another time My right hand is my best friend. So get your fucking brain Out of your balls, Get that fucking brain Out of your balls And let' s talk about - my pussy! DOWNLOAD MP3 11. Ejaculateur précoce On ne parle pas beaucoup de lui, c' est pourquoi j' ai écrit cette petite chanson que voici, que je dédierai à mes amis. Mieux vaut tard que jamais, c' est presque toujours vrai. L' inverse est atroce, c' est l' éjaculateur précoce. L' amour est décidément trop court. L' amour toujours est décidément trop court. Cela peut sembler très marrant que déjà en le regardant, vous l' envoyer droit en l' air, avant d' y penser guère. Mais mieux vaut tôt que jamais, ce n' est presque jamais vrai. La preuve est féroce, c' est l' éjaculateur précoce. Car, ensuite faut calmer les esprits, remonter le moral remonter le petit, remonter tout court et redescendre, c' est pas vrai, il s' remet à pendre. Et voilà, et c' est énervant, lassant, agaçant même chiant que faire avec un queue toute molle et avec ce mec qui s' affole? Je m' acharne et j' oublie qu' un mec l' air tout beau et qui draguait comme un pro, pend à ce truc tout rétréci. L' amour est décidément trop court. L' amour toujours est décidément trop court. Enfin, avec nos amis, chaque coup finit en orgie. Vous la faites en répétant un geste décidément bandant Donc mieux vaut tôt que jamais. DOWNLOAD MP3 12. Carpet DOWNLOAD MP3